


Siren Song

by Esperata



Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies), Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: AU, Drag Queen, Love at First Sight, M/M, McCoy In Drag, Mistaken Identity, Song Lyrics, Starfleet Academy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-15
Updated: 2017-04-21
Packaged: 2018-10-19 09:24:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 8,008
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10636986
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Esperata/pseuds/Esperata
Summary: Its love at first sight for Spock and McCoy... only Leonard isn't exactly what Spock is expecting.





	1. Somebody to Love

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [My Heart Belongs To Daddy](https://archiveofourown.org/works/10423467) by [StellarLibraryLady](https://archiveofourown.org/users/StellarLibraryLady/pseuds/StellarLibraryLady). 



“I know what we should do!” Jim Kirk snapped his fingers as the idea struck him. “We should go see Bones!”

“Bones?” Spock repeated dubiously, wondering why Jim should wish to view skeletal remains. Jim stared at him.

“Don’t tell me I never told you about Bones?”

As Spock shook his head in the negative a huge grin spread across Kirk’s face.

“Oh this is perfect then! We have to go to the show. If we hurry we should catch the finale.”

He immediately began to lead them through the streets, chatting over his shoulder the entire time.

“Bones is my best friend at the Academy… yourself excepted of course. You probably haven’t met because we’re always on the command courses and Bones is in medical. Already a fully qualified doctor, just needs to finish the Starfleet course to get signed off and assigned. Hoping we’ll all be assigned together actually. That’d be great.”

Spock let Jim ramble, knowing that little was expected in return except an open ear which Spock was willing to provide.

“And the show?” he prompted as Jim paused, lost in imaginings of future adventures.

“Oh yeah! Well Bones is generally short on funds… the divorce was kinda nasty and its best not mentioned… and I sorta suggested that singing would be a good way to earn some extra credits. One of my better ideas. Bones is a natural!”

They had arrived at quite an upper class bar that was somewhat above the haunts Jim usually dragged him to in order to experience ‘real humanity’ as he put it. Jim had made it his own personal mission to introduce Spock to as much Terran culture as possible during their time at the Academy. While Spock appreciated the intention, he did not always wish to discover some of the traditions associated with young humans away from home for the first time.

This evening’s choice however, seemed far more in keeping with Spock’s own conservative tastes.

Jim gestured grandly at a poster advertising the evening’s show – _“There’s nothing coy about our Doctor McCoy!”_ it proclaimed.

“I came up with the slogan,” Jim announced proudly as he led them inside.

“I see,” Spock ventured. “May I assume that ‘Bones’ is this Doctor McCoy?”

“What?” Jim was momentarily confused. “Oh! Yeah, sorry. Bones is a nickname from when we first met. It was just after the divorce. “I got nothing left but my bones.” It stuck.”

Nicknames were an aspect of human interactions that Spock still didn’t really understand the necessity of. He was aware that it represented bonds of familiarity between friends yet they also seemed to be applied collectively to figures of state and other remote individuals. The concept of a name ‘sticking’ made no logical sense.

Jim shoved him quickly towards a small table being vacated that offered a good view of the stage.

“You hold the table, I’ll get us some drinks,” he announced before disappearing towards the bar.

Spock surveyed his surroundings.

The atmosphere was relaxed and everyone seemed to be involved in congenial conversations. It was relatively quiet since no music was currently playing. The stage was being cleared except for a few microphones. Doctor McCoy obviously had backup singers.

“Here.” Jim reappeared and deposited two cocktails on the table. Spock had given up requesting water but trusted Jim enough not to force an intoxicant on him.

“What is Doctor McCoy’s singing style?” Spock asked as he sipped his drink.

“Old stuff mostly. Sucker for romantic hits from the days of _Gone with the Wind_ and the like.”

A hush fell around them and Spock turned to see three young women take their places at the back of the stage. For several moments there was absolute silence. Then a solitary voice broke through.

“ _Can anybody find me…_ ” the curtains parted to reveal the doctor, “ _Somebody to love._ ”

As the backing singers chorused a long “ _Oooh,_ ” Spock stared at the sparkling figure stepping forward.

It was the colour that struck him first. The dress was sparkling with green stones. If any colour was an important colour to Vulcans then green was. The movement then attracted his attention as hips swayed evocatively. The dress clung to them tightly but was slit down one side so every other step revealed a shapely leg.

He flushed slightly and brought his eyes up to the face now by the microphone. Cheeks soft as peaches, eyes sparkling attractively, their vibrant colour emphasised by sweeping brushstrokes of lavender under the eyebrows, lashes fluttering seductively, and lips…

“ _Each morning I get up I die a little_  
_Can barely stand on my feet_  
_Take a look in the mirror and cry_  
_Lord what you're doing to me_  
_I have spent all my years in believing you_  
_But I just can't get no relief, Lord!_  
_Somebody oooh somebody_  
_Can anybody find me somebody to love?_ ”

Spock was peripherally aware of the backing singers echoing Doctor McCoy but he couldn’t spare them any more attention. His focus was riveted. The doctor’s mouth was the very definition of sensual, he decided. If ever he was called upon to define the word for an alien species he would simply show them those lips and explain that _that_ was sensuality.

“ _I work hard every day of my life_  
_I work till I ache in my bones_  
_At the end_  
_I take home my hard earned pay all on my own_  
_I get down on my knees_  
_And I start to pray_  
_Till the tears run down from my eyes_  
_Lord somebody, oooh somebody_  
_Can anybody find me somebody to love?_ ”

Spock was aware of a very primitive urge in himself at the words. He wanted to provide for the doctor suddenly. To offer his own pay… his own support to raise the human up and wipe those glittering eyes. He remembered Jim’s comments of the doctor’s poor financial situation and felt the urge even more strongly.

“ _Everyday I try and I try and I try_  
_But everybody wants to put me down_  
_They say I'm going crazy_  
_They say I got a lot of water in my brain_  
_I got no common sense_  
_I got nobody left to believe in_  
_Yeah yeah yeah yeah_ ”

There were some cheers from the crowd at this point and the doctor left the microphone to stalk around the stage edge. The gait and posture allowed a lot of the comely leg to be shown off and the crowd clearly approved. Eventually the not-so-coy McCoy arrived at the side nearest Jim and Spock. The sultry gaze swept round and suddenly noticed Jim which drew a genuine smile. It then landed on Spock, which drew a stunned blink before the singer retreated to the microphone.

“ _Oh Lord_  
_Oooh somebody, oooh somebody_  
_Can anybody find me somebody to love?_ ”

Spock was suddenly treated to a blinding smile which lit up the doctor’s entire face.

“ _Got no feel, I got no rhythm_  
_I just keep losing my beat_  
_I'm OK, I'm alright_  
_I ain't gonna face no defeat_  
_I just gotta get out of this prison cell_  
_One day I'm gonna be free, Lord!_ ”

As the backing trio took up the song rhythm, the lead singer gazed blatantly at Spock. It was possible the Vulcan forgot to breathe for a moment. Certainly he lost track of the lyrics being sung now not only by the doctor and the backing girls but also the room at large. Everyone seemed to be clapping along to the beat. That was until suddenly everyone fell quiet and Doctor McCoy cradled the microphone to plead one last time.

“ _Can anybody find me somebody to love?_ ”

The backing girls defiantly finished their appointed lyrics even as the room exploded into cheers and applause for the doctor on stage. Even feet were being stomped in approval.

“Good or what?” Jim exclaimed before realising that Spock was still hypnotised. He grinned. “Hey! Earth to Spock… come in Spock.”

A tap to his arm finally drew the Vulcan’s attention away from the stage.

“May we meet her now?” was the first thing he prioritised saying.

“Meet _her_?” Jim’s brows arched in amused disbelief. “Boy are you in for a surprise.”


	2. Queen

Jim Kirk tried hard to hide his smirk as he knocked on the backroom door for Bones’ dressing room. Not that Spock would have noticed, he mused. The Vulcan had shown singularly focused concentration since Jim had promised to introduce him to the doctor. Jim could hardly wait to see the shocked reaction meeting the real McCoy would have on him.

Giggling laughter sounded from the room beyond and then the door was pulled open by the dark skinned woman who sang backing.

“Jim!” she greeted jovially. “And you brought a friend.” She smiled winsomely at Spock who was intently looking over her shoulder.

“Hi Uhura,” Jim smiled back. “Is McCoy decent? I’ve brought an admirer.”

Uhura hid her disappointment well and glanced back into the room.

“Cover up girls. We’ve got company.”

As the door swung open properly, Jim stepped in with the ease of familiarity.

“Good show ladies,” he complimented before stepping towards his friend seated in front of the ornate mirror.

Bones had taken off the wig of basket woven blonde locks but was otherwise still fully made up. His eyes flickered swiftly from Jim to land on the Vulcan still hovering in the doorway.

“Well, now,” he drawled in a full Southern accent, “won’t you introduce me properly Jim?”

Kirk abruptly realised that Bones fully intended to continue playing the part of sultry Southern singer and he grinned despite himself.

“Certainly,” he agreed. Turning to the doorway he spoke unnecessarily formally. “Spock, may I introduce you to my good friend and singer extraordinaire Doctor ‘Lola’ McCoy.”

“Jim!” McCoy rebuked mildly but Jim continued undeterred.

“Doctor, this is Spock. He’s the first Vulcan in Starfleet. Well, half-Vulcan.”

“I guess that makes you something special huh?” McCoy asked flirtatiously.

“Not as special as yourself Doctor,” Spock replied smoothly. “You should not avoid praise when it is so clearly due.”

McCoy rose with impeccable grace and took a step forward, extending one hand palm downwards.

“You’re a silver tongued devil ain’t ya? It’s a pleasure to meet you Mister Spock.”

Spock finally stepped into the room and gripped McCoy’s fingers with his own.

“It is an honour, Doctor. Your performance was most… fascinating.”

McCoy coyly turned his head away.

“Why hush now. You’ll make me blush.”

“I do not recognise your accent. If it is not too personal an inquiry, may I ask where you are from?”

“Ain’t too personal,” McCoy smiled warmly. “I’m from Georgia.”

“Yes,” Jim interrupted, delighting in the unfolding comedy. “Bones here is a real live Southern Belle.”

McCoy slapped him none too lightly on the shoulder.

“Thought I told you not to call me that?” he admonished.

“I should be interested to hear about Georgia, Doctor,” Spock quickly drew McCoy’s attention back. “Would you join us for a beverage at the bar?”

“Oh my!” McCoy fluttered his eyelashes in an outrageous display. “What would folk say to see us sharing a drink alone?”

This seemed to surprise the Vulcan but he was quick to recover.

“I am impressed you show such modesty though Jim of course shall accompany us.”

Spock extended an arm and McCoy latched his delightedly through it. As they left together Jim took a moment to shake his head and try to hide his growing mirth.

“Is he for real?” Janice asked.

“Oh yeah,” Jim nodded.

“But McCoy’s hardly what you’d call feminine,” Christine put in awkwardly.

Jim shrugged unconcernedly.

“Spock’s a Vulcan. I’m guessing subtleties of humans probably escape him.”

Uhura crossed her arms.

“Well I think he’ll discover a few subtleties about Leonard that will surprise him.”

Jim couldn’t help barking out a laugh but Bones’ voice yelling back at him distracted him from answering.

“Get a move on Jim! Some of us need refreshment out here!”

Jim hurried to catch up with the others before they reached the bar.

When the owner saw McCoy coming out, he quickly cleared a corner away from the crowds so he could drink undisturbed. Jim was faced with the immediate dilemma of where to place himself. Between the couple might be highly awkward. Beside which Spock didn’t seem likely to relinquish his hold any time soon.

So should he side with Spock or McCoy? As escort the answer seemed to be McCoy but Jim knew the doctor could handle himself well enough. No, if anyone would need help here tonight it would be Spock. Jim sat himself on the stool besides the Vulcan.

“What would you like to drink Doctor?” Spock asked politely.

McCoy was smiling quite contentedly and Jim felt the first stab of guilt. The doctor had no idea Spock wasn’t aware of the temporary nature of his role reversal.

“I’ll have a mint julep kind sir,” he drawled happily.

Spock nodded and gestured for the bartender.

It finally occurred to Jim that Spock also might not take the revelation too well. It was a humorous tale for a human but how would a Vulcan react?

“Jim?” Spock’s voice broke through Jim’s sudden worry.

“Oh, er, I’ll just have a beer.”

“You have no appreciation for the finer tastes,” McCoy commented lightly.

As Spock turned back to the doctor, Jim waited anxiously for the moment of humiliation.

“Doctor, may I ask your views upon details of the Hippocratic oath?”

The doctor’s face lit up with positive delight at being asked about his true profession.

“I’d be more than happy to give my opinion. What about it did you want to know?”

“I believe the relevant passage is: I will remember that there is art to medicine as well as science, and that warmth, sympathy, and understanding may outweigh the surgeon's knife or the chemist's drug.”

“You have a good memory,” McCoy noted.

“I have an eidetic memory Doctor. I am unclear as to why the oath gives such notice of warmth in preference to medicines?”

Jim found his attention drifting from the philosophical discussion as he realised the joke wasn’t in imminent danger of being uncovered.

His eyes fell upon an Andorian waitress he hadn’t seen here before and he recalled talk about the sensitivity of their antennae. She caught him looking and he flashed her a charming smile. He was pleased to receive a cautious smile in return. He watched as she moved amongst the tables clearing glasses and planned how best to lure her into a conversation in which he could reveal his highly promising future Starfleet career.

He had just decided on his strategy when an immediately recognisable strident voice hauled his attention back to his friends.

“Now see here you green-blooded hobgoblin-”

Jim winced as he realised how far the conversation had deteriorated in his distraction.

“I’ve nothing against decorum and showing restraint but people need to show some passion too!”

“All the worst crimes of human history may be traced to heightened emotional displays Doctor-”

“That ain’t true! What about Kodos ‘the Executioner’? There was a case of lack of empathy that caused thousands of deaths.”

Kirk flinched at the reference to Kodos and couldn’t bring himself to speak although he knew he should calm his friends.

“Kodos would be an example of megalomania, Doctor. Of exaggerated feelings of self-importance.”

“It was his lack of feeling for others that led to his crimes though,” McCoy countered hotly. “Something you’d understand all too well!”

And so saying the doctor swung off his chair and stalked back to his dressing room, even his high heels clicking aggressively. Spock watched him leave in silence.

Jim coughed awkwardly.

“Guess it’s time we left.”


	3. Honey Pie

“Goddammit Jim! I blew it. I really blew it. The first guy to show an actual interest in me for… well practically ever… and drop dead gorgeous to boot… with pointy ears that just… oooh…”

“Bones?” Jim interrupted his friend’s distracted reverie.

“Huh? Oh yeah. No good even _thinking_ about those ears now. I won’t get within a _mile_ of them. Damn my blasted temper. And damn my opening my damn mouth without stopping to think what damn well comes out of it!”

Jim thought about the scenario – about how Spock had narrowly avoided abject humiliation… by getting verbally humiliated. And Bones was… well, still bitterly disappointed actually – and concluded that all things considered, he’d come out of it pretty well.

“Maybe it’s for the best,” he hazarded, reasoning that this way at least he still had both his friends. And neither knew how he’d set them up for a joke.

Bones let out a dramatic sigh.

“Perhaps,” he replied. “But I really liked this one Jim. He wasn’t like so many guys… he was intelligent and treated me like I was too. I sensed I could’a talked to him for _hours_ and not gotten bored…”

Jim glanced across at his slumped friend, with his eyes so sad, and felt like an absolute heel.

*

“Jim. I wish to suggest another visit to see McCoy’s show.”

Jim blinked in surprise as he stood in the doorway he’d just opened to his friend.

“Thought you two had fallen out?” he suggested hesitantly.

Spock raised an eyebrow.

“We disagreed at our last meeting it is true yet I had not considered it a ‘falling out’. I have been considering the doctor’s arguments and, although she expressed herself more emotionally than I was prepared for, I find her reasoning… interesting.”

“So… you enjoyed the argument?”

“I would hesitate to say I enjoyed it. However the discussion was both illuminating and invigorating. Treating a patient holistically is accepted practice on Vulcan. Allowing for the fragile nature of human emotions it is therefore logical to treat a patient on an emotional level.”

Jim managed to stop his mouth dropping open but only just. Spock waited for a response and then prompted Jim again.

“I should appreciate another opportunity to engage the doctor.”

He wouldn’t have pegged the Vulcan as someone who’d willingly go back for more of McCoy’s emotional outbursts. Most people were scared off, not recognising the genuine warmth beneath the doctor’s gruff exterior.

Spock clearly mistook his silence and a slight frown creased his brow.

“Has Doctor McCoy indicated my company should be unwelcome?”

“No!, No, not at all.” Jim’s smile spread back across his face. “Just the opposite in fact.”

*

As they stepped into the bar, McCoy was already on stage and Jim winced slightly as he recognised the end of the song.

“ _Only know you love him when you let him go. And you let him go. Oooh. And you let him go._ ”

The doctor really wore his heart on his sleeve sometimes. Jim coughed awkwardly and steered Spock towards seats at the bar. Spock required some steering since his gaze was entirely focused on the doctor.

They were only half way across the room when McCoy clearly recognised them. His surprise was evident as was his sudden excitement. Jim saw him shift back and whisper hurriedly to the backing girls and he knew something dramatic was about to happen. He wondered if he could escape unscathed?

The doctor returned to the front of the stage and spoke seductively into the microphone.

“Well folks. I’m guessing a lot of you intellectual types,” his gaze flickered to Spock, “know that today’s a special anniversary. January 10th 2060 – The Battle of Chéron fought in the Crux constellation. The first victory for the alliance of Federation, Tellarite, Andorian and Vulcan.” His eyes again swept across to Spock.

“I’ve adjusted a popular old tune to commemorate. Hope y’all enjoy.”

He took a step back and dropped his head to await his cue. It snapped up as the song started and he gripped the microphone again.

“ _My, my! At Chéron the Romulans did surrender_  
 _Oh yeah, and I have met my destiny in quite a similar way_  
 _The history book on the shelf_  
 _Is always repeating itself…_ ”

As the backing singers chimed in with the chorus McCoy locked his eyes significantly with Spock’s.

“ _Chéron - I was defeated, you won the war_  
 _Chéron - Promise to love you for ever more_  
 _Chéron - Couldn't escape if I wanted to_  
 _Chéron - Knowing my fate is to be with you_  
 _Chéron - Finally facing my Chéron._  
 _My, my, I tried to hold you back but you were stronger_  
 _Oh yeah, and now it seems my only chance is giving up the fight_  
 _And how could I ever refuse_  
 _I feel like I win when I lose._ ”

Next to Spock, Jim face palmed, completely unnoticed as his two friends were lost in each other’s hypnotic gaze. This was going to blow up spectacularly and no-one would escape the fallout.

“ _Chéron - I was defeated, you won the war_  
 _Chéron - Promise to love you for ever more_  
 _Chéron - Couldn't escape if I wanted to_  
 _Chéron - Knowing my fate is to be with you_  
 _Chéron - Finally facing my Chéron_  
 _So how could I ever refuse_  
 _I feel like I win when I lose -_  
 _Chéron - Couldn't escape if I wanted to_  
 _Chéron - Knowing my fate is to be with you_  
 _Chéron - Finally facing my Chéron._ ”

The song drew a lot of applause and McCoy finally broke gazes with Spock to acknowledge the response.

“Thank y’all. We’ll be back with the finale in just a little while.”

He waved flirtatiously and slipped off the side of the stage with his three fellow singers. Moments later he reappeared heading towards the bar.

“So,” he drawled, eyes once again on Spock. “Going to buy me a drink to commemorate this historic anniversary?”

“I shall indeed buy you a drink,” Spock agreed readily, “However your information on the Battle of Chéron is incorrect.”

McCoy arched a beautifully made up eyebrow at the Vulcan.

“How’s it incorrect? All I gave was the date and place and that’s well known. Unless you’re suggesting it wasn’t a victory for our side?”

“The battle was fought in the Omicron Gruis star system not the Crux constellation.”

Jim tuned out as another argument began over the reliability of certain historical documents. He watched them, completely lost in each other so that neither noticed him slipping away.

He needed some space to think – to plan.

Spock and McCoy were clearly smitten. He hadn’t ever seen either of them like this and it should have been a wonderful thing. Except… Spock still seemed under the impression McCoy was a woman. Would that matter to him if Jim told him? Surely he was attracted on an intellectual level as much as the physical.

Although Jim knew himself well enough to know that if he were in Spock’s position and found out, he’d run a mile.

“Jim!” Uhura grabbed his arm suddenly. “You have to tell Spock Leonard’s not a woman!”

Jim looked round anxiously but there was little chance of them being overheard above the general hubbub.

“How the hell am I supposed to do that? ‘Oh, by the way Spock, that woman I introduced you to is really a man’?”

“That’d do,” Uhura responded severely.

“He’s Vulcan! He’ll never understand why I didn’t tell him before!”

“To be honest, _I_ don’t understand that.”

Jim looked embarrassed.

“I thought it’d be funny,” he offered. Uhura gave him a condescending look before sighing.

“Jim. They’re both going to wind up getting hurt. Leonard’s really given his heart to Spock already. And you know how hesitant he is about romance.”

“I know, I know.” Jim rubbed his forehead anxiously. “It’s just… they’re so happy together and if I tell Spock… he might not take it well.”

Uhura laid a reassuring hand on Jim’s arm.

“He has to find out eventually. Its better sooner rather than later.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact - 'Waterloo' was originally entitled 'Honey Pie'


	4. ABBA

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ABBA - All Beliefs Broken Apart

Kirk felt a flutter of anxiety as he returned to the bar and found Spock and McCoy had gone. Then he recalled Bones was due back on stage. Spock had probably nipped to the gents so as not to miss the start of the finale.

Or, if he’d followed McCoy backstage, Jim had no doubts Uhura would shove him firmly back this way.

The minutes ticked by though and Jim sensed the crowd getting restless as nothing seemed to be happening. Finally he noticed Uhura at the backstage entrance gesturing to him. It was clear McCoy was not with her and that she thought it was Kirk’s responsibility to find him. 

With a sinking feeling he decided to check the ‘hot-spot’ out the side of the bar. It was a place he’d lured many a young woman to share a moment of intimacy before getting them to take the plunge and accompany him home.

His heart fell at the sight that met him.

Spock and Bones were locked tight together. The Vulcan’s hands were holding the doctor firmly about his waist, pinning him against the wall with ease. McCoy for his part had clasped Spock’s face and was holding him in place as they kissed. Not that Spock seemed inclined to move away.

Jim hesitated. Perhaps this was a good thing. It certainly proved Spock wasn’t merely attracted on an intellectual level.

He ducked back into the doorway so he was out of sight.

Several long moments later he heard McCoy’s soft Georgian voice.

“Oh Spock.”

Jim risked a glance but the pair were still so closely entwined that if he hadn’t heard him he’d have thought the doctor’s mouth was still occupied.

“I ain’t ever felt like this,” McCoy was saying. “So… so alive! It’s as if I found a part of me I never knew I was missing. You… you’re intrinsic to me. Does that make any sense?”

“It does.” Spock’s voice was also a murmur but was clear in the quiet air. “Before I met you… I have always struggled to reconcile my human and Vulcan halves. But with you… it is easy. Or it is unimportant. Either way, I find I no longer wish to be without you.”

“Oh Spock.”

Jim realised if he didn’t interrupt soon they’d be entangled again. He banged the door behind him and called out,

“Bones! Show time!”

As he stepped into the alleyway he caught a glimpse of Spock stepping quickly backwards as McCoy held onto the wall to keep his balance.

“Oh hell!” McCoy swore as he realised the time and moved to get back inside. He hesitated though and turned swiftly to Spock, placing a brief chaste kiss on the Vulcan’s cheek. He then darted past Jim and inside.

Spock moved to follow but Kirk put out a hand and stopped him.

“Wait a moment. I need to tell you something.”

“We shall miss Doctor McCoy’s finale,” Spock pointed out nevertheless halting but glancing past Jim’s shoulder.

“I’m sure he’ll give you a personal performance later.”

The pronoun caught Spock’s attention and his eyes snapped to Jim.

“I believe you mean ‘she’,” Spock suggested.

“No.” Jim shook his head, resolved to straighten this out. “He. Doctor Leonard Horatio McCoy, known to me as Bones.”

Spock frowned in an open display of confusion.

“But you introduced her as Lola.”

Jim grimaced slightly.

“Yeah, that was a joke.”

“A… joke? I do not understand.”

“I tend to tease him when he’s in drag,” Jim replied awkwardly.

“Drag?” Spock queried.

“That’s what it’s called when men dress as women as part of an act.”

Spock’s eyebrow rose in alarm.

“An act? Has everything been part of an act?”

“No! No, Spock. Everything you and McCoy have shared has been real.”

“It cannot have been real as the person with whom I shared the experiences apparently does not exist.”

“He _does_ exist. He’s just not a she.”

Spock frowned again and Jim willed his friend to understand and forgive.

“The divorce?” he asked. “Doctor McCoy said she divorced ‘Jo’.”

“Jocelyn,” Jim supplied. “It’s not a lie.”

Spock fell into thought again and Jim waited impatiently as the Vulcan apparently recalled every interaction.

“Come on Spock,” he cajoled. “You said you didn’t want to be without him. Has that really changed?”

Jim knew immediately he’d made a mistake. Spock turned instantly defensive as he realised what had been a very private moment had been overheard.

“As I previously stated, that individual does not in fact exist.”

A burst of noise signalled the side door opening again and seconds later a familiar voice interrupted them.

“Hey. Thought you were going to watch the rest of the show.” McCoy reached out a hand towards Spock but the Vulcan recoiled. McCoy stopped with a look of confusion. “What’s the matter?”

“You have lied,” Spock said perfunctorily.

McCoy’s confusion increased.

“Lied? What about darlin’? I haven’t told you anything but the truth.”

“You are a man.” It was a statement and the doctor waited for something further. When Spock remained silent he said,

“Yeah. So? I never said I wasn’t.” He turned his confused gaze onto Kirk, seeking answers, and saw Jim’s awkwardness. The doctor suddenly put two and two together. “Hell! Jim! Did you tell him I was a woman?”

“Not exactly,” Jim hedged apologetically. “I just didn’t correct him when he assumed that.”

McCoy was torn between beating Jim round the head and pleading his case to Spock. His smitten heart won that battle easily.

“Spock, darlin’.” He saw Spock avert his gaze at the endearment. “It’s true I’m not a woman but… does that really matter?”

Spock’s eyes snapped back to his but there was nothing soft about the look.

“A relationship with you Doctor would be highly illogical.”

Jim winced in sympathy as McCoy’s heart visibly broke before him.

“Illogical? Why?” the doctor pleaded. “You loved me not ten minutes ago! What’s actually changed since then?”

“We are both men. As a doctor you should understand the futility of a same sex relationship.”

“This is because you wanted children with me? What if I’d been barren? Are you suggesting infertile people aren’t suitable for loving relationships?” The doctor’s anger was beginning to show as he fought to hide his deep hurt. “Is there really no goddamn reason for any two people to come together except to breed? What about intellectual compatibility? What about emotional support? What about plain lovin’ each other!” He almost screamed the last part at the stoic Vulcan.

Spock drew himself up and responded coldly.

“As a Vulcan I do not seek any relationship based on emotion. And as for intellectual compatibility… I am unsure any human would compare let alone yourself.”

That was like a slap in the face to McCoy who for a few seconds could only stare. Then he turned and fled back inside the bar.

Spock remained stationary as Jim tried to find any words to say following that. He finally realised the Vulcan was _too_ stationary.

“Spock?”

The Vulcan flinched visibly.

“Forgive me… I am… unsettled.”

Jim took him by the elbow and began to gently guide him away.

“Come on. I think you need a little space to consider just what’s going on in that head of yours.”


	5. Silence

Jim deposited Spock at his room and left him to meditate. The Vulcan was more shocked than Kirk had ever seen him.

But Jim didn’t immediately head round to see Bones. The doctor would be unlikely to welcome his presence right now and Jim resolved to corner him at the show the next day where he’d be forced to at least be in the same room for his apology.

However when he arrived at the bar he saw the usual poster covered with a strip advertising “ _Nurses only tonight!_ ” Inside he quickly realised McCoy was not in residence and he sat at the bar waiting as the trio of ‘Nurses’ held the stage themselves.

When the interval finally arrived, Kirk wasn’t surprised to be joined by Christine. Unlike Uhura and Janice, Christine was also in the medical division and she had probably accompanied McCoy back there last night.

He waited while she ordered her drink before broaching the delicate topic.

“No Bones tonight?”

She glared at him. It was, he felt, probably a reaction he deserved.

“McCoy has lost his voice,” she replied shortly.

“Really? Or…”

She shot him another look that shut him up quickly but then she relented.

“To be honest I’m not really sure.”

“Hasn’t he gone to a doctor?”

The look he got this time was quite familiar.

“Ah,” Jim recognised his mistake. “Of course not.”

“He was crying his eyes out last night,” Christine admitted. “I stayed with him and when he woke this morning he just couldn’t seem to speak. It could be a psychosomatic response to the distress or he may have a bacterial infection or virus. Either way he wasn’t fit to do much.”

Jim played with his drink.

“This whole thing is really messed up,” he complained. “They were head over heels. I can’t believe those sorts of feelings can just disappear.”

“They can’t,” Christine agreed, “But they can be suppressed. I don’t know much about Vulcans but I know they value logic above everything. Does Spock have a logical reason for this relationship?”

“He was all for it yesterday! And I for one don’t believe he was simply looking for a breeding partner.”

Jim slammed his glass down and stood up decisively.

“I’m going to go talk to him. I’m responsible for this mess. I’m going to try to sort it out.”

Christine laid a hand on his arm before he stormed off.

“Be careful. The last thing Leonard needs is for Spock to be pushed back into his arms only to leave again.”

“I know,” he assured her. “I’m only going to do what’s best for both of them.”

As he marched on over to the dormitory where he and Spock resided, he thought about the shock he’d pulled on the Vulcan yesterday. How would he have reacted?

It was easy to say he’d value the personality over the body but Jim wasn’t sure he could believe it of himself. But then he’d never felt as strongly as they obviously had. He couldn’t believe that two people so wrapped up in each other could deny themselves that chance because of something so stupid.

He remembered seeing them in the alleyway. There had certainly been no lack of physical attraction _then_ and Jim was certain Spock had merely panicked – Vulcan discipline or no. He just needed to make the stubborn Vulcan see that.

He had to knock a few times before the door was opened for him. Spock appeared to be wearing the same clothes he had the previous night and if the way he was blinking at Jim was any indication, he hadn’t slept a wink.

Kirk stepped into the darkened room and waited for either Spock to turn up the light or for his eyes to adjust.

“May I suppose you are here to apologise?”

The Vulcan’s tone indicated no concessions would be made regarding lighting.

“Partially,” Jim conceded. “I’m also here to tell you to pull the damn stick out of your ass.”

He couldn’t see it but he knew the Vulcan’s eyebrow would be rocketing.

“I beg your pardon?”

“You are attracted to Bones. You enjoy his company, relish his conversation and damn well looked to be interested in getting to know his body a hell of a lot better. Now I know I led you astray as to his gender but that’s got nothing to do with how you felt about him.”

“I am a Vulcan-”

“Screw that! You’re half-human. I saw you with him. I heard you with him. You feel for him… and I know you won’t lie so deny it if you can.”

There was a long pause in which Spock conspicuously did not deny the charge.

“Right,” Jim relaxed fractionally, glad that hurdle was done. “So what’s the real problem here?”

He allowed Spock time to collect his thoughts, unwilling to push too hard today and make things worse.

“On Vulcan… such relationships are uncommon. Not completely unheard of but only to be considered once family lines are established and previous partners are no more. Even then most choose another partner of the opposite gender to bring balance to a relationship. It had certainly never occurred to me before now to contemplate such a partnership.”

Jim let the idea of that settle in his mind, determined not to say the wrong thing.

“Right, so it’s almost unheard of on Vulcan. But… we’re not on Vulcan. And you’re half-human Spock.”

“I am.” Spock hesitated. “I have been thinking the matter over in much depth,” he admitted. “My parents undoubtedly wish for me to continue the family line. I am an only child so there is no other alternative. However, recent tests have been suggestive of the possibility that I am infertile. It is unlikely I could ever conceive naturally.”

Jim tried to wrap his mind round what Spock was saying

“So... breeding isn’t a logical reason for a relationship in your case anyway?”

“Since medical intervention would be required either way, the gender of my chosen partner would not be relevant.”

“Right!” Jim grinned before his smile suddenly faltered. “So what is the problem? You can’t tell me you’re not attracted to him?”

“I can not in fact deny that. Irrespective of gender, I am almost irresistibly drawn to L..Leonard. He offers a balance that I suspect most Vulcans do not find with their partners.”

“Still not seeing the problem then.”

“I believe Leonard will no longer consider me as a partner given my behaviour of yesterday.”

Jim couldn’t stop his grin at that.

“Spock. Bones _loves_ you. He may be wary right now but if you’re serious about a relationship with him then I’m sure he’ll forgive you.”

“I do not share your confidence.”

“Ah, but you don’t know the human’s fool proof method for winning over aggrieved partners.”

It was probably as well the darkness hid Jim’s devilish grin.


	6. You Don't Have To Say You Love Me

It was a few days before Christine managed to convince McCoy to perform again. His voice had come back after 24 hours but he’d remained holed up in his room. It was only the guilt of letting down the bar for their well-advertised Saturday night performance that had convinced the doctor to go out again.

Jim had dragged Spock along to the bar early so as to monopolise a secluded table which, due to the sporadic lighting, was hidden from the stage. The Vulcan was nervous although the only sign he gave of it was a greater propensity to sip from his drink.

The bar filled up as the start time approached. Doctor McCoy’s was a popular show.

Finally, the noise quietened as the Nurses stepped smartly onto the stage. They stayed back from the microphones however. Clearly the opening number was going to be a solo performance.

Generous applause welcomed the doctor as he eventually made his appearance. Dressed tonight in a pink gown and with the familiar blonde basket weave hair he looked especially fragile. Or perhaps that was Spock projecting his own expectation.

The music burst out suddenly, silencing the crowd, before dropping down to allow McCoy’s voice centre stage.

“ _When I said, I needed you_  
 _You said you would always stay_  
 _It wasn't me who changed, but you_  
 _And now you've gone away._ ”

Spock felt the words like a knife. He wondered about the wisdom of Jim’s plan. It seemed far too simple now to be successful. Surely the doctor would not forgive him so easily after the harsh words he’d spoken.

“ _Don't you see that now you've gone_  
 _And I'm left here on my own_  
 _And that I have to follow you_  
 _And beg you to come home._ ”

McCoy stretched out his arms in appeal and his eyes shimmered. Spock was almost drawn forward against his will. Could he really believe he’d be forgiven? Was the possibility worth the risk?

“ _You don't have to say ya love me_  
 _Just be close at hand_  
 _You don't have to stay forever_  
 _I will understand_  
 _Believe me, believe me_  
 _I can't help but love you_  
 _But believe me, I'll never tie you down._ ”

Spock believed very suddenly in the truth of the situation. His feelings for the doctor were real. The doctor’s feelings for him were real. There was no logical reason not to be together. If McCoy hadn’t dropped his arms and lowered his eyes in that moment it was doubtful Spock could have resisted going to him.

“ _Left alone with just a memory_  
 _Life seems dead and so unreal_  
 _All that's left is loneliness_  
 _There's nothing left to feel._ ”

Those vibrant eyes flashed up again and this time the tears in them were unmistakable. Spock knew he had caused them yet he still wished to be the one to wipe them away.

“ _You don't have to say ya love me_  
 _Just be close at hand_  
 _You don't have to stay forever_  
 _I will understand_  
 _Believe me, believe me_ …”

Here, Jim gave Spock a violent shove to get him moving. Spock felt a fear grip him as he stood and moved almost hypnotically forward. His entire future hung in the balance of the next few minutes. Yet he would not be swayed by the fear. It was logical to act.

“ _You don't have to say ya love me_  
 _Just be close at hand_  
 _You don't have to stay forever_  
 _I will understand_  
 _Believe me, believe me_ …”

McCoy caught sight of Spock at the edge of the stage and very nearly missed his final cue. He couldn’t take his eyes off the Vulcan coming ever closer.

“ _Believe me._ ”

Spock stepped onto the stage, even as the crescendo was still playing, and continued his walk towards McCoy. The doctor seemed frozen, unable to move or speak. He could only stare on with wet eyes.

Finally Spock stood before him. The music had finished and the only noise was hushed whispers as the audience anticipated something special was happening.

Taking the opportunity, Spock reached out and clasped one of the doctor’s hands. He was reassured when the man neither pulled away nor reacted aggressively. Stepping closer still, Spock moved deliberately into the doctor’s personal space. Still McCoy remained motionless.

Taking a deep breath, Spock said the only thing that could possibly heal this broken relationship.

“I do love you Leonard.”

They were so close that the microphone picked up his words and broadcast them to the room. Whoops and cheers greeted his statement but he ignored them all as he continued to stare into McCoy’s eyes.

After what felt like an eternity McCoy smiled, even as fresh tears fell down his cheeks.

“And I love you, ya damned green-blooded Vulcan.” He pulled Spock down into a passionate kiss that promised everything would be fine. More than fine even.

The uproar of the crowd eventually broke its way into the lovers’ little paradise and McCoy glanced shyly at their audience.

“Ah… thank you folks. I’m going to be taking a break for a few minutes…”

Anything else he might have said was lost in the catcalls and cheers.

Spock tugged his hand gently and pulled him after him off the stage. Behind them, the trio of Nurses moved forward and began some backing vocals to fill the time.

They made their way over to Jim’s table where he was grinning broadly. They’d no sooner sat though than he was up and off with a vague, “I’ll get some drinks.”

“What made you change your mind?” Leonard asked quietly.

“The realisation that you were correct. You had not changed, nor had my feelings towards you. My reaction that night… was illogical.”

“Huh,” McCoy laughed softly. “Doubt that’s something you’ll be saying often.”

“I hope not,” Spock responded before continuing. “Same gender couples are not often considered on Vulcan. I was not aware I’d… I had never thought…”

“It’s alright Spock.” McCoy caught his hand again. “I was pretty shocked when I first realised I preferred men. Not as shocked as the wife but…” He smiled reassuringly and Spock allowed himself to relax.

“I shall not leave you again,” he vowed seriously.

“Good,” McCoy murmured.

Jim returned to the table with drinks.

“More Altarian water for you, beer for me and a mint julep for the lady.”

McCoy rolled his eyes.

“Dammit Jim! Haven’t you caused enough trouble?”

“Sorry,” Jim replied, not looking at all sorry. “But it worked out okay right?”

McCoy glanced at Spock who met his eyes with a fond look.

“Yeah,” he agreed.


	7. Dusty

It was a bright day and the three of them had agreed to meet up for lunch out on the grass.

The little patch of green was conveniently situated between the three main bodies of the Academy and it was as always crowded with students meeting up with friends. Jim and Spock arrived early and claimed a suitable few meters in which to sit. As usual Spock noted the doctor’s approach first. Jim was beginning to think they were psychically in tune.

“Ridiculous!” he announced huffily in lieu of a greeting. “The instructors wanted to see how fast we could prep the patient for surgery when it was damn clear that wouldn’t do a lick of good. Only thing to do was slow his metabolic functions and keep him alive long enough to synthesise the proper serum.”

“Hello to you too Bones. My morning went well, thank you for asking.”

McCoy dropped down next to Spock and gave him a brief ‘hello’ kiss. When he pulled away Spock asked,

“Did you follow the instructor’s suggestion?”

“Hell no! I’m a doctor! My job is to save the patient. I don’t care what any stupid professor has to say.”

“I believe they will say you have failed to demonstrate your speed and ability in an emergency.”

“I worked trauma back in Georgia. I demonstrated speed and ability in an emergency plenty there.”

“Nevertheless-”

“Nevertheless nothing. My first duty is always to my patient.”

McCoy glared and Spock stared placidly back.

“Your care and dedication are commendable.”

McCoy’s gruff façade disappeared and he relaxed back on his elbows.

“So Jim,” he finally turned his attention onto his friend, “How did your morning go?”

“Aced the simulator test,” Jim said, not at all humbly. “And pretty sure the red-head’s going to agree to a drink next time I ask.”

“How many times you asked her already?” Bones queried as he helped himself to some of Spock’s fruit.

“Thirty-seven,” the Vulcan responded promptly, handing McCoy a cereal bar he’d gotten for him earlier.

“Hey! Some of us have to work at romance. We don’t all get love at first sight.”

“True,” McCoy agreed happily. “But you ain’t after love are you?”

Jim grinned unrepentantly.

“There’s no reason not to enjoy myself while I’m waiting for Cupid’s arrow now is there?”

“Cupid?” Spock queried, with a glance to McCoy.

“Ancient god of love,” the doctor replied succinctly. “Said to shoot people with arrows causing them to fall in love.”

Spock took a moment to file this information away before answering.

“The term ‘falling in love’ seems very apt. The act is often unanticipated and little may be done to stop the motion.”

“That’s without considering the symptoms,” McCoy added to Spock’s analysis. “Dizziness, breathlessness, shock sometimes…” He smiled fondly.

“All ending in a hideous crash,” Jim concluded.

“Well, thanks for that Jim,” McCoy drawled. Spock reached over and stroked a hand over the doctor’s cheek briefly before drawing back.

Jim decided to move the conversation on.

“So, you on stage tonight Bones?”

“Yeah.” His eyes lit up mischievously and he smirked at Spock. “Got something special planned too.”

The Vulcan arched an eyebrow.

“May I enquire what?”

“It’s a surprise,” McCoy teased. “But I’ll tell you it involves a feather boa and a Cole Porter song.”

Jim almost choked on his sandwich.

“I’ll bring my holocamera,” he declared.

“Long as I get a copy,” Bones agreed contentedly.

“I believe I should be concerned,” Spock commented, looking between the two humans.

“You’ll enjoy it Spock,” Jim assured him.

“That’s a personal guarantee,” McCoy promised.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I started this fic as I always do imagining DeForest Kelley. However by the end my mind was switching between him and Karl Urban. Mucho kudos to him for bringing McCoy back to life with so much of De's familiar characterisation. I love them both because they are both the real McCoy.


End file.
